James van der beek has reflected how harsh it was last year after he was diagnosed with Phase 3 colorectal cancer
The actor, 48, showed how his health battle made him question his value and place and described how his cancer has influenced his wife and family through a recent Instagram video.
(Van der Beek is married to his wife Kimberley Since 2010 and the couple have shared six children: Olivia, 14, Joshua, 13, Annabel, 11, Emilia, 8, Gwendolyn, 6, Jeremiah, 2.)
“It has been the hardest year of my life and I wanted to share something I learned with y’all,” started Van der Beek in the video posted to mark his 48th birthday. “When I was younger, I defined myself as an actor, who was never really so fulfilled. And then I became a man and that was much better. And then I became a father and that was the last.”
Van der Beek explained that his designation as a “loving, capable, strong, supportive, father, provider, land administrator” was important to him. According to Van der Beek, his cancer threw that strong definition that he kept so expensive.
“And then this year, I had to look at my mortality in my eyes. I came to my nose with death with death,” he said. “All those definitions that I cared for so deeply, stripped of me. I was away for treatment, so I could no longer be a man who was useful to my wife. I couldn’t be a father who could take his children and put them in bed and be there for them.
He went on: “I couldn’t be a provider because I was not working. I couldn’t even be a land administrator because sometimes I was too weak to prune all the trees during the window you need to prune them. “
Van der Beek continued to explain that he tried to deal with an answer to the question, “Who am I?”
“So I was overwhelmed with the question that if I would be here alone to be a very weak, weak, only, cancer boy, what am I?” Dawson’s Creek Reflected alum.
After all, Van der Beek concluded that he was still worthy of self-love, despite his life circumstances changed.
“I meditated and the answer came through. I am worthy of the love of God, simply because I exist. And if I am worthy of the love of God, should I not be worthy of mine?” He said.
Van der Beek first discovered his diagnosis of cancer in November 2024.
“I’ve been dealing privately with this diagnosis and taken steps to solve it, with the support of my extraordinary family,” he explained at the time. “There are reasons for optimism, and I’m feeling good.”