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Home»Entertainment

Nikki Glaser’s Wildest Pop Culture Jokes: Tom Brady, Jewel

By January 3, 2025 Entertainment No Comments6 Mins Read
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No one goes there like Nikki Glaser.

While the comedian made headlines in May 2024 for her epic set at Roast of Tom Bradywhich aired live on Netflix, it certainly wasn’t the first time she’d come for some of the biggest names in Hollywood. Glaser was also a force on Comedy Central roasts for him Rob Lowe, Bruce Willis AND Alec Baldwin. She has since been given an insight into how she prepares for the big event, revealing that she practices her jokes in stand-up groups for weeks before taping.

Glaser is taking the same approach for the 2025 Golden Globes, which she will host on Jan. 5.

“I think I have nine shows between now and Sunday because I want to keep testing jokes and I want to keep getting the monologue to the (most) perfect place it can be,” Glaser told The Hollywood Reporter days before the ceremony. . “Not every host does that. I’m lucky enough to be a comedian who can go and find these rehearsal spaces in front of a live audience and I trust the audience members not to pull jokes or tell anyone. And we have enough jokes that even if they do, I’ll be fine.”

From Brady to Cybill Shepherd THE Joseph Gordon-Levittread on for some of Glaser’s wildest pranks over the years:

jewel

“Jewel is here, as I call it, Trailer Swift. Jewel, I don’t want to hurt you, since God already did. … Your teeth are like the Spice Girls, they’re all different colors and they do their own thing.” (Rob Lowe’s Roast)

Peyton Manning

“I love you in commercials. I would say you are the greatest of all time. You are like the Tom Brady of commercials. Like, the biggest.” (Rob Lowe’s Roast)

Rob Lowe

“Rob opposes age restrictions. Lord, I had such love for you when I was a little girl. If only I knew that’s when I hit my best shot.” (Rob Lowe’s roast)

Martha Stewart

“Martha Stewart, thank you for being here. … I’m a big fan and my mom is an even bigger fan. My mother learned everything from Martha Stewart, including cooking, cleaning and holding on to love.” (Bruce Willis roast)

Related: Nikki Glaser ‘Felt Like Taylor Swift’ After Successful Tom Brady Roast

Matt Winkelmeyer/Getty Images Nikki Glaser is reflecting on her overnight success after stealing the show during The Roast of Tom Brady in May. “It was a life-changing show. One of those things that you like, you just don’t think is going to happen, but then everything changes. The next day, I was in line (…)

Joseph Gordon-Levitt

“He’s so cute, so adorable. I bet you eat wood, but only with the bark cut off first. Isn’t that what he looks like? Speaking of p—-y, I’ll get to you in a second, Cybill.” (Bruce Willis roast)

Cybill Shepherd

“Cybill is amazing. I am honored to meet him. Her resume is insane – model, actress, singer. She’s f–ed it.” (Bruce Willis roast)

Bruce Willis

“Your daughters must be very proud of their father … Ashton Kutcher.” (Bruce Willis roast)

Caitlyn Jenner

Caitlyn Jenner Nikki Glaser Pop culture's wildest and most controversial jokes
Mike Marsland/Mike Marsland/Getty Images for Sky

“You are such an incredible athlete. People forget how fast you once ran … from your first family to getting on a reality show. Seriously, I know it’s hard being a new mom, but even Casey Anthony knows her daughter’s current whereabouts.” (Alec Baldwin’s roast)

Blake Griffin

“Blake, you look like a black guy made by a printer running out of ink. Yes. Chris Redd is here because Comedy Central wasn’t sure if Blake was black or not.” (Alec Baldwin’s roast)

Alec Baldwin

Alec Baldwin Nikki Glaser Pop Culture's Wildest and Most Controversial Jokes
Jim Bennett/Getty Images

“Alec Baldwin, what an honor to be here roasting Justin Bieber’s wife’s oldest and fattest uncle. I’ll never forget that voicemail when you called your daughter Ireland a thoughtless little pig. It has to be one of the worst things you can call your daughter – after Ireland in fact. This name, yikes.” (Alec Baldwin’s roast)

Kevin Hart

“No one works harder than this man. Did you know that every morning Kevin wakes up at 4 am to make a dirty movie? No, I like your movies. Or as I call them ‘short films’. No, I’m kidding. I hate them. No, sorry, Kevin, I don’t mean to put you down, but “you’re small,” man. Like, you’re a little boy. Kevin is 5’2″, 150 pounds. Well, 155 after The Rock finished.” (Roast of Tom Brady)

Related: Nikki Glaser: It’s “impossible” Tom Brady didn’t consider the roast’s reaction

Nikki Glaser is speaking out after Tom Brady regretted agreeing to Netflix’s The Roast of Tom Brady, which debuted earlier this month. During an appearance Wednesday, May 15, on Today With Hoda & Jenna, Glaser, 39, said the former NFL star “probably didn’t consider the reaction from his family and how he would (… )

Drew Bledsoe

“But let’s get to the reason we’re all here tonight. Drew Bledsoe. “Drew bled so Tom could run.” But I will leave you, just like your team did after you almost die.” (Roast of Tom Brady)

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Tom Brady

“Tom Brady, five-time Super Bowl MVP, most career wins, most career touchdowns, you have seven rings. … Well, eight now that Gisele got hers back, but … Tom, the only thing dumber than what you said to this dude was when you said, ‘Hey, honey, you should try jujitsu’” (Roast of Tom Brady)

“I mean, you’re the best that’s ever played in a long time. I mean… you retired, then you came back, and then you retired again. i understand Hard to walk away from something that isn’t your pregnant girlfriend. Hey. To be honest, he didn’t know she was pregnant. He just thought she was getting fat.” (Roast of Tom Brady)

Rob Gronkowski

“Tom also lost $30 million in crypto. Tom, how did you like that? I mean, even Gronk was like, ‘I know it’s not real money'” (Roast of Tom Brady)

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