Professional surfer Private Smith He opens up about his past mental health struggles in a candid Instagram post celebrating his 30th birthday.
“Man… 30 years old and what a ride this life is! No one told me that with every passing year life as an opportunity just gets better. Slowly the rules of the game are revealed day by day,” the athlete posted on Friday, January 3. “The magic just gets thicker, the colors clearer, the purpose refined, the love that surrounds me grows. My connection with life becomes deeper. I am very grateful.”
Smith, 30, went on to explain that “sometimes” he closes his eyes and goes back “to visit the version of myself that was struggling.”
“Shocked, depressed, suicidal, heartbroken,” he continued in the emotional post, which also featured multiple photos of the surfer riding waves, hanging out with friends and enjoying the beach. “I put my hand on his heart and say it’s worth it! Just wait, it’s all worth it!”
He concluded: “Thank you to all of you! Let the abundance flow and the light shine!”
In a March 2022 interview with The IndependentSmith spoke about a catastrophic injury he suffered while surfing in Indonesia that resulted in the surfer’s mental health illness.
“I heard this crazy, super peaceful violin,” he told the publication at the time, referring to the moment he crashed trying to ride a wave. “I had one of those moments where I was over the whole bay looking down. I could see my friends in the lineup. I could see the boats in the bay. I could see the mountains. Then all of a sudden I realized I was actually underwater.”
He continued: “I felt that maybe I was leaving my body. The strange thing was that it was a very comfortable, very loving, euphoric state. He was not afraid. It was like being at home.”
The somewhat euphoric feeling was short-lived – when the surfer regained consciousness, he could not remember his name or address. As a result of the crash, Smith said he suffered a severe concussion and later realized “something just snapped” inside him.
“I couldn’t even function anymore,” he explained at the time. “I had to spend 10 hours a day in my bed in the dark and just figure out what I wanted to do from there.”
After struggling with his mental health, despite seeing doctors, Smith said The Independent he decided to try the psilocybin mushroom as part of his “healing process.”
“It took me back to my childhood, that fire inside me as a kid,” he explained. “It reminded me that I was a good person and that I was here to do good in this world. It reminded me to use my head injury as a guide to healing.”
If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call or text 988 or chat at 988lifeline.org.
